Horrible Sounding Films of the Week: 6 July.

Haven’t been to my local pictures recently cos there’s mainly studio horrors, studio comedies, and studio thrillers.

Their synopsis of ”The Hangover’ is enough to make you feel sick:

“‘The Hangover’ is a crazy comedy about a bachelor party that goes horribly wrong.
Two days before his wedding, Doug (Justin Bartha) and his three friends head to Vegas, for a weekend they’ll never forget. But after their first night, they wake up with huge headaches and can’t remember a thing. All they know is, the hotel room is trashed and Doug is missing.
Now the trio must find out where things went wrong, find Doug, and get him back to LA in time for his wedding.
But as the hangovers wear off, and their memories return, they realise just how much trouble they are in.
If you liked ‘Wedding Crashers’ and ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’, you’ll love ‘The Hangover’.
‘The Hangover’ – showing at your local cinema.”

‘Crazy comedy’. ‘Hotel room…trashed’. ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’. Just….. eurgh.

Let’s take another example: Night At The Museum 2. As if the first film wasn’t all cutesy and studio-ey:

“Ben Stiller, returns as a hilarious night watchman Larry Daley in the sequel to the hit film ‘Night at The Museum’. This time Daley is faced with a whole new kind of mayhem inside the world famous Smithsonian Institute!
Packed full of rip-roaring gags and hilarious cameos, ‘Night at the Museum 2′ is a comic treat not to be missed!
If you liked, ‘National Treasure: Book of Secrets’ and ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe’, You’ll love ‘Night at the Museum 2′.
‘Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian’ – showing at your local cinema.”

You are not going to sell me a film whereby the producers describe their own film as ‘hit’. Nor are you going to sell me one with Ben Stiller in it.

‘Rip-roaring gags’. ‘Hilarious cameos’. ‘Hilarious night-watchman’.

Errrrr, no.

And also it’s over-priced. Eight pounds twenty for a standard adult ticket. And the popcorn and drink is a fiver.

Pffft. That’s why I haven’t been.

Are you bored?

I know I am.

WELL, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN:

BEDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!

Good for the brain, heart, liver, and in fact pretty much every other body part you could think of.

NO NEED FOR ANY EFFORT

Just put on a fresh pair of pyjamas and jump into a nice cosy bed for uninterrupted unadulterated natural healing time.

AND THIS IS NO HOMEOPATHY!

Scientists™ tell us that getting into bed is at least 1:1 healing power, compared to today’s 1:10000000000000000000 homeopathic woo.

BETTER THAN SLICED BREAD

You may wish to eat a piece of bread before you go to bed. Just eat, jump in, sleep, and wake up in the morning refreshed and ready for whatever the world may throw at you. Even if it is a bit of sliced bread.

Shut up now.

Schott’s Original Miscellany – a tasty, tasty book

Not in the literal sense (budumtisssshhhhh).

This book is the kind of book you need to keep with you in case you are caught sailing and need to know what a plimsoll line is, or you see a chemical spill and are asked what chemical it is from its Hazchem plate.

It. is. fascinating.

It will make for a very interesting read and will increase your ‘interesting’ levels by at least 4%, some scientists say.

And it’s dead cheap, like.

You buy it, and you’ll never look back, literally. Budumtishhhhhh.

Au revoir.

Not you as well…

Erm…

It seems that my brother has fudged something up, the attributions of which remain unknown, rendering him morose and depressed.

‘Not you as well’ refers to him and our long term residing friend who seems to have broken up with a girlfriend and is very upset about it.

So there’s two young gentlemen in this household who are bringing the average mood level down, and it’s making me curious.

Sniff.

ALAN, changeable weather, a lack of glasses in the house, and Dr Ben Goldacre

Point One. This ALAN, it’s not a person. It’s an exam (Adult Literacy and Numeracy). I took it back in December, and I passed first time. The reason I took it is rather complex. There are seven Maths sets in my school. Sets 1-4 have taken Higher tier Maths GCSE, while 5-7 would have taken the Foundation Tier. I was in set Four. But we took the Higher paper, which gave us a better chance of getting a C, though we may not pass because the maths in the Higher Tier is relatively hard from a Set 4 point of view. So, sets 3 and 4 took this ALAN test, which is worth a GCSE. The idea is to compensate for the GCSE that might have been lost in the Maths Higher Paper. So now to the principle. I was so happy, and so were my classmates, about taking this test. This test came as a good surprise. Now then, proficient set 1 and 2 decided to stick their oar in, and try to take this ALAN test. But a few have gone round annoyed that they have to go in for another exam. Not happy that they have been given an easy GCSE. And it’s not the fact that they have the upper hand again that severely annoys me, but the fact that some are decrying ALAN as a waste of time. Ha, but of course they’re still going to take it. The moral of this rant is: Never dismiss an opportunity that you weren’t entitled to before.

Point Two. Last night we had this rather strong bout of rain, which was nice to sit awake and listen to it at midnight. I don’t know, there’s something comforting about listening to rain from indoors. Hmm.

Point Three. There are few usable glasses in the house, possibly because some of them are broken.

Point Four. I have bought Ben Goldacre’s book Bad Science, and I hope that he doesn’t mind that I give him a paragraph, albeit a very unseen paragraph. Erm, so far I have read up to page 27, and I’ve already learnt about ‘detox’ baths, Hopi ear candles (which sound quite painful) and crafty sales pitches disguised as science. I’m looking forward to the next two-hundred-odd pages. Most of the ‘treatments’ that are investigated in the book are often clever, I’ll give them that, but deceptive and unsatisfying; and since one might pay £10 for one of these odd jiggery- pokery sessions, damaging to the pocket. And jeez, Brain Gym is just total woo. There’s not much you can say about schools’ money being spent on silly exercises when all you really need is water, food and regular breaks. And, erm, I think I’ve done quite well on just that.

French!!!!

Not as hot as yesterday, as per mentioned, but fairly moderate.

Now then n0w then now then, it’’s the day of my Listening exam!

Biscuits.

You may have noticed…

that I am currently redoing the design for my blog. Please bear with me while dysfunctional graphics or runaway widgets get fixed. Thank you

English paper 1 down, several to go

and it’s extraordinarily hot here at Crunchynut headquarters. In fact so hot, the mercury in the thermometer is literally over 20 degrees. What?!?!!? you may say, if you’ve heard about the disgraceful climate we have, but yes, indeed it is true.

So then, never mind about the idle chit chat, we have more important matters to attend to, namely a French listening paper tomorrow, which I can say, is not the most of my worries at the present, but probably will be tomorrow when I’m scared to the bone. I will, though, make matters of revising tonight. Our residing friend Girik has to go in normal time tomorrow because he was a silly person and took History. On the other hand, however, me and Liam will go in at lunch, so is our wisdom d’edudie le langue Francais. (Probably doesn’t make grammatical sense.)

Anyway, I will sit here for the moment and leaf through my French revision guide.

C’est la vie. Supposedly.

Alright I will stop talking now

Au revoir

Revision

… can go and stick itself in the sticking place.

Currently I’m doing half hourly strikes of maths and english, inbetween little breaks. This is a break.

Aaaaaagggghhhh!

See Crunchynut Gallery for a few pictures of my Dad’s recent gig.

I’m baaaa-aaack!

Hello there person. I am back after a long stint of blogging laziness. I am now 16! How about that? I can now pay taxes and play the lottery. I would mention the other thing but this is a family blog so maybe not.
I’ve got a large bag of linkage to go ahead and tell you about so that’ll be the first thing I do when I’ve finished revision for my GCSEs. But yes. And that’s all for now.